Why Mediation is a Healthier Divorce Option
We’ve all heard the divorce horror stories and seen depictions on TV and in the movies. The spouses hate each other. Each hires a lawyer. The lawyers argue with each other. Each side tries to overpower and out-maneuver the other. The kids suffer from the parents’ antagonism and are caught in the middle.
The hostility, stress, and cost of using two adversarial lawyers, especially if it occurs over a protracted period, negatively affects the entire family, and is sure to be emotionally and financially devastating. But divorce doesn’t have to be that way. Mediation is a much healthier and affordable divorce option that preserves each spouse’s dignity and the mental health of both the parents and their children.
How Mediation Reduces Stress
In divorce litigation, spouses fight through their respective attorneys for what each wants and there’s no motivation for collaboration. Divorce mediation, on the other hand, starts from a completely difference premise. Here both spouses are work together with a single neutral professional who works for the best interests of not only both spouses, but also any children involved.
Seven specific ways in which divorce mediation reduces stress are:
1. Each spouse has the opportunity to express his or her opinion, concern, desire, and goal for each issue, without interruption or hostility from the other.
2. The mediator fosters an atmosphere of mutual respect in which each spouse has opportunities to express his or her feelings of anger, betrayal, grief, and other emotions commonly associated with divorce in an empathetic and non-judgmental environment.
3. The mediator educates parents about the ways in which children react to divorce, makes suggestions as to how they can reduce their children’s stress, and warns them about behavioral changes to watch for so that the children can receive their own divorce counseling if the need arises.
4. The mediation conference room is informal and non-threatening, unlike an attorney’s office or a courtroom.
5. The mediator disallows repetitive, historical rehashes.
6. The mediator is impartial and ensures that each spouse makes fully informed decisions about the division of marital property and debts.
7. The mediator redirects the conversation to the issues that the spouses can, and need to, solve.
In addition, mediation costs significantly less than litigation, usually thousands of dollars less; takes significantly less time than litigation, usually a few months instead of years; and allows spouses to negotiate and arrive at a property settlement and parenting agreement that is acceptable to both rather than being forced to accept judge-ordered decisions.
For all of these reasons and many more, mediation definitely is a healthier divorce option than litigation in terms of reducing stress and resolving the issues that all divorcing couples and their children face.